


Stars and Monsters

by lordbeatrice



Category: Crazy Rich Asians (2018)
Genre: F/F, Light Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 05:06:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17016312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lordbeatrice/pseuds/lordbeatrice
Summary: It's a snowy winter's day in Oxford and Nick's organised something special for Colin. Colin meanwhile is searching for the right words.*************************New Year's Eve - Rachel is determined to stay and home and finish this chapter of her dissertation. Dragged out by her loud roommate, she discovers that maybe the night might end up a lot more magical than she'd imagined.





	1. The Jabberwocky

**Author's Note:**

  * For [elanorofcastile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elanorofcastile/gifts).



> Happy Yuletide!  
> I hope this story meets all your expectations, I had such a wonderful time writing both bits of it!  
> A small note regarding timelines: both stories are set some years before the movie, so in my mind this is what led up to the movie pairings, so pre-canon if you will.  
> Thank you so much for the opportunity to write this, this was one of my favourite movies of the year and it's been so fun inhabiting this world.

It had taken some serious bribes to get access to that tree. The one that had Lewis Carroll had used for inspiration for the Jabberwocky. This great, gangly and slightly sinister monstrosity that sits in the grounds of Christ Church College. Looking particularly monstrous today, the ground was covered in a thick layer of snow, unusual for December and the tree’s dark grey branches were weighed heavily with white. Making the grey dark against the silver sky that framed it.

Getting access wouldn’t have mattered had Nick actually been a member of the college, but given his own membership as part of Trinity College, there were some obstacles that he faced, even as a Young, to gain access to another college’s grounds. In this case, he’d had to beg and bribe the porter to look the other way when it brought Colin in. It had cost most of the money that Nick had leftover after buying Christmas presents for the family before he headed back to Singapore, but every cent was worth it to see the looking on Colin’s face. 

Colin might have seemed like the serious one of the pair of them, more the son that was expected of the Khoos than Nick was of the Youngs. Yet it was only a facade, another carefully curated piece for the public eye. Something to convince the world of his eligibility to the heritage that he constantly bore on his shoulders. The one that made him come to Oxford today. 

One final goodbye. 

Not that Nick knew that. That’s why they were here at this tree. The tree. The one that Colin had joked about when Nick had first gone to Oxford that he was expecting a cutting of. A present - a Jabberwocky all of his own. 

He hadn’t been totally serious. More than anything he wanted to be with Nick, but that wasn’t ever to be the case. There was too much history that burdened them. Expectations of two sons that were impossible to ignore. 

It might have been the 21st Century, but there was no denying that it might as well have been the 19th for all that it would have mattered. No one would have accepted that the sons of the two wealthiest families in Singapore would get married. Let alone the question of children. There was too much familial obligation. There would be a Khoo wedding and a Young one, but those would never be the same affair. 

Worse still, Colin was fairly certain he’d met someone who could be that one and here he was, in Oxford, to break the news to his best friend, the only boy he’d ever loved. Who was currently looking at him with these eyes that were full of excitement and hope and he was going to take all of that away. 

‘It’s amazing,’ Colin found some words. Not very good words, but words. 

‘I know! Can you imagine Lewis Carroll sitting beneath it writing the words to ‘Alice’?’ Nick asked, buzzing, ‘I wonder if there were rabbits here then? And caterpillars! Blue caterpillars.’ 

‘Probably.’ Colin’s heart was sinking fast. 

There was silence after that. 

Colin stole a glance at Nick, who was staring at him far too intently for his liking. 

‘You don’t like it.’ 

It wasn’t a question. 

‘No, I do. I love it,’ Colin answered, sincerely. 

‘But?’ 

Colin opened his mouth and then hesitated. He didn’t really want to be doing this. He was going to break Nick’s heart. Smash it into a thousand million pieces. Something he couldn’t bear the thought of doing, yet he was left with no other option. 

‘I think we need to talk.’ 

A cold breeze swept through the garden at his words. Colder than the jade tinge of the clouds would suggest was coming. A frigid blast to freeze this moment in time. Ensure that he’d never be able to think of this tree with any other memory. 

‘Talk?’ 

‘Yeah, talk.’ 

Nick let out a long exhale, his breath painting the air bright white, making his lips look pinker and so inviting, but Colin couldn’t let himself be tempted. 

‘Is this the same talk we always have, the one about how we owe something to our families? That we’re obliged to live our lives to their expectations rather than our own, because you and I both know that it’s not what it once was,’ Nick began. 

‘You know that it is.’ 

Nick took a step back, hurt evident in his expression. 

‘Actually it is. We have a choice.’ 

Colin scowled at that. 

‘Yes a choice, a choice to walk away from everything, our family and friends, never to be welcomed back.’ 

Nick barked.

‘You don’t give them enough credit, it’s not fifty years ago.’ 

‘And it’s not England or America. Family is so much of what we are, it’s impossible to extricate ourselves from that, no matter how much you want to.’

The suggestion was obvious and Nick narrowed his eyes. 

‘Are you suggesting I fell in love with you purely to get back at my family?’

‘I’m suggesting that ever since you were little you’d do nearly anything to rid yourself of the weight of being Nick Young. Maybe I was simply convenient.’ 

He didn’t mean it. He didn’t mean any of it but this was going to be ugly no matter what he did and perhaps it would be better to be harsh now. Save any chance of anything recurring later. Because the temptation would always be there, it wouldn’t ever leave, Colin and Nick would always want to be together, it could simply never be. 

Nick’s eyes were shining and Colin wished that he’d been a better friend. A better lover. That he wasn’t so much of a coward, that he’d be brave enough to suggest they run away together, hand in hand, the world forgotten. 

He wanted to watch the sunset over their spot on the bay in Singapore, the amber light setting ablaze to the sky as they made love on the sand, skin glistening gold and the smell of sea water and the ozone in the air as an evening storm threatened to roll in. 

He wanted to taste Nick, that flavour of tonka bean and rum that seemed to ooze from every pore in Nick’s body. The one that made him trail kisses down his back when they spent a week on their own island in the Caribbean. 

He wanted to spend lazy mornings curled in Nick’s arms, cool breeze blowing through the window, carrying the sweet scent of jasmine in from the balcony. White flowers covering the wrought iron railings, as he lay enraptured in his lover’s arms. Safe. Loved. 

Now, as Nick continued to walk away from him, he looked at the tree that stood menacingly over him and wondered if there’d ever be a bigger monster than he, Colin, had been in this moment.


	2. Starry Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel gets dragged out of the house for NYE by Peik Lin, but when she meets a beautiful, elegant, sophiscticated woman, she rethinks her opinion of the night.

10…

9…

8…

7…

 

 

Rachel hadn’t wanted to leave the house tonight, she was in the middle of writing her dissertation and she was starting to see double whenever she blinked and leaving the house was out of the question. She needed to have this chapter finished, finished a week ago but she’d settle for it finished in time for the new year, still it didn’t seem like that would happen. 

Especially with Peik Lin whispering in her ear. 

‘Oh come on, you’ve been sitting at that desk for DAYS, you’re going to get haemorrhoids if you don’t move!’ 

Rachel ignored her, trying to focus on the sentence in front of her. What was she saying, something about functions and probability. Possibly. 

She blinked furiously. 

‘COME ON, one night away from the computer will not kill you.’ 

Rachel keeps staring. 

The words begin to float off the page and dance round her consciousness, and somewhere in one of the many tabs her brain has open, ‘I’ve got a jar of dirt’ is playing on one very annoying loop. 

She stands up, swaying a little. No dissertation is worth this and she’ll finish it tomorrow when her brain has had a chance to reset and settle. And maybe, just maybe, ‘I’ve got a jar of dirt’ will no longer be playing. 

‘Excellent, now let’s make you into the gorgeous creature we both know you are and not this…’ Peik Lin hesitates, looking Rachel over with a bemused eye, ‘Orc.’ 

 

 

Rachel doesn’t know how they ended up at this party, but someone let them in and now they’re standing at a glass balcony overlooking Times Square at the revellers below wind up for the countdown to the new year. There’s explosions of colour before her eyes and she’s in awe at the sight before her. 

Have colours always been this vibrant? 

‘Of course they have, you’ve just been staring at a computer for the last nine months and you’ve forgotten that anything else exists.’ 

‘Did I say that out loud?’ Rachel laughs. 

‘I think you’ve forgotten how to interact with normal people,’ Peik Lin comment, ‘Perhaps tonight we can change that? Find you a sexy piece to kiss at midnight.’ 

Rachel shakes her head. 

‘That’s not necessary,’ she begins. 

‘Of course it is, I’d be remiss as your friend if I let this moment pass without pointing out all the stunning people you could and definitely should be kissing.’ 

Rachel laughs. 

‘What would I do without you?’ 

Peik Lin rolls her eyes. 

‘Have a mental breakdown, listening to ‘I’ve got a jar of dirt’ on repeat forever,’ she quips, ‘Obviously.’ 

‘Obviously.’ 

‘Right, hotties…’ Peik Lin hesitates while looking around the room. 

‘What about him?’ She gestures to a guy that bears a stunning resemblance to that guy in the Thor movie and Rachel shakes her head. 

‘Too muscly.’ 

‘Him?’ This one is tall, dark, handsome and looks like he smelt something bad with the upturn of his nose and the sneer permanently etched on his face. 

‘Too stuck up.’ 

‘That one?’ 

‘Creep.’ 

‘That one?’ 

Rachel pretends to vomit. 

‘Girl, here I am trying to find you someone and everyone I choose is the wrong one.’ 

‘You just need to get better at choosing then.’ 

‘What I need is a drink, and leaving you to your own devices, because I’ve got my own fish to fry,’ with a salute, Peik Lin saunters off to the bar, beckoning a rather handsome red head to join her as she walks past. 

Rachel smiles, she wishes she was as confident as that, but it’s too much for her. This environment is reminding her exactly why she should have stayed at home tonight, because for all that you can take the girl out of the maths degree, you cannot make her forget them. She feels a little foolish dressed up in a ridiculous red glittery dress, with a skirt that’s making her feel a little exposed because she was too out of it to argue when it was thrust at her.  
She should be home working. 

Looking down at the people in Times Square, she wondered how many of them, wrapped up in their thick coats, pressed up against each other, hoping to catch a glimpse at a sight they’ve waited a whole year for, would rather be at home? Curled up in bed, watching the snow fall waiting for the year to ring in the same that it has for years before. 

She’s become a cynic. 

‘It’s a spectacular sight isn’t it?’ 

The voice beside her wasn’t the rough, loud bark she was expecting, but soft, smooth and more refined than she suspected her ears had ever heard before. Standing beside her was this magnificent woman, dressed all in gold, staring down at the square below. 

‘It is.’ 

Rachel hadn’t really been taken with the sight, but she didn’t want to disappoint. As if the mere presence of this woman was enough to want her to change how she did things so that every movement, gesture and word was pleasing to her new companion. 

‘I’ve not been in New York for New Year before,’ the woman spoke, ‘I feel as though I may have missed out on something special.’ 

‘Oh I wouldn’t know about that.’ 

Turning to look at her, there was a question in her sincere gaze. 

‘You don’t think so?’ 

Rachel shrugged. 

‘I’m a New Yorker, born and raised, it’s like every other New Year for me.’  
‘Well we’ll just have to do something about that.’ 

Grabbing Rachel’s hand she leads her back through the party, making their way through the crowd as if none of them were there, they were simply mannequins, still and lifeless, and easily ignored. All movement seemed to slow, and there was only the soft, firm hand that was pulling Rachel along behind her. 

They reached the elevator, and Rachel didn’t pay much attention as they stepped in, only a quick glance to see that they were ascending. Up and up, until they reached the floor marked penthouse. 

Nerves struck her, hard. 

‘Don’t you think we might get in trouble?’ Rachel asked, she was sure that whomever own the penthouse they wouldn’t be pleased if two interlopers found themselves making use of it. 

The woman smiled.

‘I’m sure they won’t mind. I have it on good authority that they’re not here at the moment, so I won’t tell if you won’t?’ 

She smiled brightly and Rachel smiled back. 

‘Deal.’ 

The doors opened to the penthouse and all Rachel could think was there was an inordinate amount of silver. Silver and white everywhere. But she was being escorted through the penthouse at speed, so there was little time to take in the opulence of her surroundings. 

And then, just as they’d arrived, they were standing on a large terrace looking out over New York, the lights of the city sparkling like stars against the inky black sky. It was the most beautiful thing that Rachel had ever seen. 

And she burst into tears.  
‘Oh no,’ suddenly there were arms around her, ‘Have I gone too far?’ 

Rachel shook her head, relishing the soft, exceptionally warm fur of the coat that this woman was wearing. 

‘No, it’s perfect, it’s just…’ Rachel sniffed, ‘I don’t even know you’re name.’ 

‘Oh how rude of me. I’m Astrid.’ 

‘Rachel.’ 

Astrid beamed. 

‘It’s a great pleasure to meet you Rachel. Champagne?’ 

They talked. And drank champagne. Occasionally when the music was loud enough, of the people moved in a certain direction, they’d take each other in their arms, and start dancing. 

They watched New York from the sky above, marvelling at the sight of the city below. Astrid was interesting, erudite and considerate of everything that Rachel said, and Rachel wondered if she’d ever have another moment where she felt like this. Like everything had fallen into place, and that this moment, where she was cherished, special, would be something that could ever be repeated. 

If this night was all that she might ever have, Rachel was ok to make peace with that. This night with Astrid would be worth a thousand nights with anyone else. 

The city suddenly became still, snow began to fall and from below the words could be heard: 

10...

9...

8...  
Rachel and Astrid looked at each other. 

7...

‘Was it everything you’d hoped for?’ Rachel asked. 

6...

‘What?’ 

‘Your first New Years Eve in New York?’ 

5...

Astrid smiled. 

‘Almost.’ 

4...

‘Almost?’ 

3...

Astrid leaned in and suddenly the nerves that Rachel had forgotten about came back again. 

2...

Then as soon as Astrid’s lips touched her own, she forgot all about them and there was nothing in the world apart from the two of them and this one, singular perfect moment. 

1... 

Behind them New York erupted into celebrations as the new year began. 

Astrid pulled back. 

‘Now it’s perfect.’

**Author's Note:**

> Just a very quick note, this hasn't been beta'd except by me, so all the apologies if I missed something!


End file.
